Not Excited About Valentine’s Day?
I used to dread Valentine’s Day. The single most depressing activity of my unhappily married life was looking for greetings cards for my husband. I would look at all the lovely words in the cards expressing love and gratitude for time spent together, and although I didn’t hate my husband and we rumbled along together without constantly fighting, I felt signing my name at the bottom of a verse of sweet sentiment was just plain lying and I ended up having to go for the comedy cards, or simply ones which said Happy Anniversary or Happy Valentine’s Day. What I really wanted was a card that said:
Valentine’s Day. Really?
It’s not long after Christmas
And I’m finding it quite hard
To buy another present
And another sodding card
So here’s some heart shaped chocolates
(I thought that we could share…)
Not thoughtful or original
Do I look as if I care?
It looks pretty sad when you see it in verse, but it was the way I felt in the latter part of my married life. My ex had his faults but he wasn’t a monster, and most of the internal damage was done by me; I used to focus on feeling sorry for myself and wish someone would come along with a magic wand to make my life amazing.
I didn’t realise I was the one with the bloody wand. Nobody told me. But I am here to tell you that your magic wand is around somewhere. You just need to find it. It’s somewhere buried under the piles of “I Hate My Job” and “My Thighs Are Too Fat”. If it’s not there, try looking down the back of the “If He Cared About Me, He Wouldn’t be Such a Dick” sofa.
I am a life coach, and in my new book “How To Live With a Dickhead”, I give you all the advice you need to find your magic wand and make your life amazing. It’s written in down to earth language and I do swear a bit so please don’t buy it if you are easily offended!